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Coyote Removed From Dictionary After Debate

During the confirmation hearings for the recent Supreme Court Justice nominee, the term “sexual preference” was deemed offensive and flushed down the memory hole by the Ministry of Truth in favor of “sexual orientation.” The latest update to the NewSpeak lexicon has been the removal of “coyote” as the terminology for people that smuggle immigrants across the border illegally.

There was a minor misunderstanding among many liberals after the president used the term “coyote” in the final presidential debate. It was perceived as a derogatory name for Mexican parents with children.

Some wondered if wooden coyotes were hollowed out and children were stuffed inside while others believed coyotes were fitted with small saddles. Groups of right wingers have called for increasing the number of Border Collie Patrol agents and loosening the rules of engagement.

Fu Ling Yu, a prominent liberal, out of work artist, and part-time food service worker was shocked to find that a coyote is a person who smuggles immigrants across the border. “I am very well aware of the plight of these brave seekers of freedom and (hopefully) future democratic voters. As a devoted activist, I have signed many petitions at the coffee house and in line at the food pantry. I have never heard “coyote” used this way. I figured it was a white supremacist code phrase or something like that.” When asked what he thought the smugglers were called, he said,  “They’re the um… the people that… um… you know, man… the thing! They’re the ones that bring people across.” His non-binary companion, identified only as Pat, said, “I thought the coyotes were the Mexican version of Greyhound.”

An internal memo from the Ministry of Truth and The Dictionary show that there is consideration of deeming every single word of Trump’s Inaugural Address to be racist, sexist, ableist, agist, misogynistic, and homophobic if he is reelected.

In other debate news, after being muted three times during the introduction, Trump took out his cell phone and sent a presidential alert to every phone in America with the message, “You bitchez will never silence me!”

1 thought on “Coyote Removed From Dictionary After Debate

  1. I see incredible levels of ignorance out there. I haven’t really paid attention to TV in 50+ years, but I’m shocked at how utterly stupid people have become. I don’t watch these idiotic ‘reality shows’ that disguise themselves as “news”, nor do I pay any attention to debates. Watching people clamor to lie to each other the best isn’t very entertaining OR informative.

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MPLF 7 June 20-24, 2019


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